Skip to main content

The 'Honking' Disease !

Recently the newspaper Lokmat ran a campaign called HBKB - Horn Bajane Ki Beemari - to create awareness about the ill-effects of excessive honking on the roads. They created a teaser campaign wherein they put up posters asking if people had heard of the HBKB disease. That really piqued people's interest. I think it was a fabulous teaser :)

I can't talk enough about people's incessant honking on the roads. There are types and types of honking (and horns, but more about that some other time) and consequently 'honkers'. Sample a few -

The Worry Wart - S/he constantly worries about which vehicle is going to hit them next. They have an anxious expression and keep darting looks to the left and to the right to protect themselves from all others in the traffic. They honk in short spurts at equal intervals for the entire length of time they are driving. Methinks instead of being scared / annoyed and keeping away from them, somebody in the traffic (don't look at me!) might actually be tempted to purposefully ram into them to put a permanent end to their honking.

The My-A$$-Is-On-Fire Driver - This is the person who's always running late. They drive like race car drivers. You have to admire their courage and their ability to go zigzag in bumper to bumper traffic. This navigation is aided by their honking. It seems as if the horn on their vehicle sings a full-fledged 3-minute film song before pausing for breath, only to begin another number. I don't wish them ill...(wicked grin) their actions will bring doom to them !

The Attention Seeker / 'Shiner' / Communicator - Ahhh youth...and their follies ! Typically this is a college-goer. S/he (I am using 's/he' only to be impartial, but truth be told, this category usually belongs to the males of the species) thinks that the horn on their two-wheeler is an all-in-one magic device that can be used to get everybody else to look at you (even if it is with disgust) AND to establish one's coolness AND to communicate to one's friends how a) everybody is looking at them and b) how cool they are. They have signature honking styles - tat-ta-taa-tataaa-tataaa or taaaaa-tataaa-tat-ta-taaaa or some such equally annoying phrase.

I'm sure you have encountered such and other 'honkers' and this is quite a sufficient sample to have you clenching your teeth in the memory :)

In addition to this campaign, I have  suggestions for a few more campaigns:


TGMGSAK - Teri Gaadi Meri Gaadi Se Aage Kaise - The Competitive Driver


RKTBKH - Rasta Kya Tere Baap Ka Hai - Its-never-my-mistake Driver


NTSD-NMSD - Na Tune Signal Dekha Na Maine Signal Dekha - The no-harm-done-we-both-erred-let's-forget-it Driver


RJNTKSP - Ruk Jaana Nahi Tu Kisi Signal Pe - I-am-the-President-of-the-Universe-and-have-a-perpetual-right-of-way-red-signal-or-no-red-signal Driver


So, all you newspapers, who's going to take up one or more of these ? Remember to give me credit...royalty, at least !

Comments

Seema Smile said…
I am always nervous when I drive... and I am a good driver coz I follow all the rules. The problem is no one else does and so I am dangerous to those people. I also never honk, sometime even when it is needed... it's a pain to slide my hand over to the horn and back to the grip on my steering. One of these days I am going to discover the pleasures of honking but till then I am baffled by what pleasure others get out of it!
Ai Ling said…
OMG! I have such a bad memory! I know I'm about 1.5 months late... but a very belated Happy Birthday!!!

Hope you had a great one and that whatever you wish for will come to fruition :-)
The Wanderer said…
@Seema: I think its OK to err on the side of caution...better to not honk than honk incessantly !

@Ai Ling: Hey, no problem at all ! Thanks a lot...late or not, good wishes are good wishes and I accept yours gratefully :)

Popular posts from this blog

How NOT to compère a function

Recently I attended an awards ceremony. It was a grand function with a huge audience in attendance. Many awards were given and some speeches too. The compère was, unintentionally, terribly funny ! In this function, when the compère announced the first award winner, he announced, “Please welcome on stage Mr. X (pause) married to (pause) wife Mrs. X (pause) from 1977 and successfully (pause) completed 32 years of (pause) married life…” I had tears in my eyes from laughing too hard :D Later, the same compère, while telling the audiences about a certain award winner, said, “…he is married (pause) to wife Mrs. Z (pause) and enjoys playing with his (pause) children K and M. His favourite (pause) holiday destination is (pause) the beaches (pronounced as ‘bitches’) of (pause) Goa” I nearly died choking with laughter for this one ! In the 45 minutes that he was on stage he was responsible for much hilarity due to his totally inappropriate commentary. I, of course, laughed my guts out and what c

‘Geographically challenged’

I laughed my guts out while reading this . Then I had another bout of laughter thinking of all the incidents that happen with me. For a long time now I have known that I am, what I like to call, ‘geographically challenged’ :) Situation 1 - If I go inside a building (happens mostly with residential buildings), then after I exit the lift (elevator) or come down the stairs, I cannot quickly locate the gate ! Situation 2 - If I am inside a building, I will routinely point in wrong directions to indicate places outside the building. Situation 3 - I am presently at office. I have come here from home. Now I have to go to some place where I have always gone from home and never from office. What do I do ? I go home first and from there I go to that place. It doesn’t matter if it is a longer distance or takes more time. I have to do this, because simply have no mechanism to re-align my mental map to my present location ! Situation 4 - Another thing is that if I have come to your place in

Love in the rains :)

Heart shaped ditch on a construction site next to our office building ! Closer view of the 'heart' ! You can find love in the most unusual places ! :)