There’s a big change happening on the work front…change of organisational composition, change of location and most importantly for me, change of profile. The change of profile is happening with my consent and I know I will struggle initially, but I welcomed the learning opportunity.
As my family and close friends will vouch, I am not particularly comfortable with big changes. I too have always known my resistance to change and also recognised the need to learn to accept changes, adapt and evolve.
Previously I used to resist them with all my might. Over the years the actual resistance diminished in strength but the resentment and apprehension persisted in my mind. In the present scenario, I am making this huge effort to be ‘saintly’ about this change…that means, ‘I’m neither too happy nor too sad about it’…cocoon --> butterfly theory etc. etc. So far it’s working.
Yet today, my resolve is getting a little shaky. Today, we started the actual process of sorting things, disposing off some and packing the remaining. That acted as a trigger. Sadness is creeping on me slowly. I’m trying to combat it sometimes by distracting my mind and sometimes by trying to soothe the anxiety. It’s a struggle and I’m feeling tired.
I believe that ‘You will be taught a lesson repeatedly until you learn and imbibe it fully well’. Apparently ‘acceptance of change’ is mine and I’m a rather thick and slow pupil. Yet, judging by how much better I have fared with dealing with this particular change, I guess, I’ll be done in a couple of more lessons at the most.
Keeping my fingers crossed for that and also for getting through this one with minimum damage to my resolve.