Skip to main content

Fear of inadequacy


Today a friend shared a quote by Nelson Mandela. It goes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”


I said to her that it’s an amazing thought but I’ll have to think a lot about this to understand it well, since I have always believed that inadequacy is one of my biggest fears.


Later I received a message from M that RR, the playwright of KK, will be conducting a workshop with all actors on Sunday. It scared the hell out of me. RR is highly accomplished and experienced; and he wants to do a workshop with the actors M has chosen for the play he has written. I’m sure there will be some expectations, some preconceived ideas about how M’s group will be, because of M’s reputation as a talented director. I am so stressed out thinking how not to let my inadequacy be exposed. I am frightened beyond belief. I called M to ask him what RR intended to do and he said he didn’t know. I am now in an even worse state of mind. If I knew, I could at least prepare myself…at least mentally. I don’t want to fail my team and M. My mind is spinning something crazy right now. I’m really, really stressed…tears in the eyes and all.


I don’t know why I fear this so much. Is it because I think too highly of myself ? Is it because I can’t bear to disappoint people I like ? Is it because I expect too much from myself ? Well, I have no answers for myself right now. All I understand is that I have to attain a lifetime of wisdom to be able to understand what Nelson Mandela said.


For me, my present truth is that being inadequate is one of my deepest fears !

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How NOT to compère a function

Recently I attended an awards ceremony. It was a grand function with a huge audience in attendance. Many awards were given and some speeches too. The compère was, unintentionally, terribly funny ! In this function, when the compère announced the first award winner, he announced, “Please welcome on stage Mr. X (pause) married to (pause) wife Mrs. X (pause) from 1977 and successfully (pause) completed 32 years of (pause) married life…” I had tears in my eyes from laughing too hard :D Later, the same compère, while telling the audiences about a certain award winner, said, “…he is married (pause) to wife Mrs. Z (pause) and enjoys playing with his (pause) children K and M. His favourite (pause) holiday destination is (pause) the beaches (pronounced as ‘bitches’) of (pause) Goa” I nearly died choking with laughter for this one ! In the 45 minutes that he was on stage he was responsible for much hilarity due to his totally inappropriate commentary. I, of course, laughed my guts out and what c
Post a Comment
Read more

‘Geographically challenged’

I laughed my guts out while reading this . Then I had another bout of laughter thinking of all the incidents that happen with me. For a long time now I have known that I am, what I like to call, ‘geographically challenged’ :) Situation 1 - If I go inside a building (happens mostly with residential buildings), then after I exit the lift (elevator) or come down the stairs, I cannot quickly locate the gate ! Situation 2 - If I am inside a building, I will routinely point in wrong directions to indicate places outside the building. Situation 3 - I am presently at office. I have come here from home. Now I have to go to some place where I have always gone from home and never from office. What do I do ? I go home first and from there I go to that place. It doesn’t matter if it is a longer distance or takes more time. I have to do this, because simply have no mechanism to re-align my mental map to my present location ! Situation 4 - Another thing is that if I have come to your place in
11 comments
Read more

Love in the rains :)

Heart shaped ditch on a construction site next to our office building ! Closer view of the 'heart' ! You can find love in the most unusual places ! :)
7 comments
Read more