Skip to main content

Bouts of Self-doubt


I admit it. I am a strange creature.


When everything is going fine and I’m doing good work and I am aware of it too, all of a sudden I get a bout of self-doubt. It starts in one particular area and, like a forest-fire, spreads very rapidly and I start doubting everything that I am doing.


I proceed to question it all…right from the basics to the more superficial things about me and also declare the judgement that it is all horribly wrong. I convince myself that I am, and everything about me is, worthless. I get confused and feel stuck and feel sure that I won’t ever be able to do anything right. I feel like stopping everything that I am doing, since I ‘know’ that it is wrong and thus ought to be stopped.

Then after wallowing in self-doubt for some time, either I realise or somebody, usually the better half, realises that I am suffering from a bout of self-doubt and with some or much effort, either from the better half or me, I return to my original confident and self-assured self :)
Labels:

Comments

Swapnali said…
It was such a coincidence that I watched the movie Doubt last night. A very well made movie although I am not a big fan of unresolved endings. Meryl Streep is stunning!

There was nice line in the movie: Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone.
7 April 2009 at 20:48
The Wanderer said…
Wow ! What an amazing line...and how reassuring..."When you are lost, you are not alone" !

And yes, neither am I comfortable with unresolved anything :)
8 April 2009 at 14:17
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

‘Geographically challenged’

I laughed my guts out while reading this . Then I had another bout of laughter thinking of all the incidents that happen with me. For a long time now I have known that I am, what I like to call, ‘geographically challenged’ :) Situation 1 - If I go inside a building (happens mostly with residential buildings), then after I exit the lift (elevator) or come down the stairs, I cannot quickly locate the gate ! Situation 2 - If I am inside a building, I will routinely point in wrong directions to indicate places outside the building. Situation 3 - I am presently at office. I have come here from home. Now I have to go to some place where I have always gone from home and never from office. What do I do ? I go home first and from there I go to that place. It doesn’t matter if it is a longer distance or takes more time. I have to do this, because simply have no mechanism to re-align my mental map to my present location ! Situation 4 - Another thing is that if I have come to your place in ...
11 comments
Read more

The balance of nature

The Japan earthquake and tsunami managed to bring tears to my eyes. It is terrible to see the amount of damage …to humans, to property, to the landscape…to lives…and it will take ages to restore some sense of normalcy. Life as they knew it before this disaster is lost forever for all the affected people…those who are still alive. :( Call me weird or naïve or stupid or un-informed or anything, but I really believe that we humans have managed to bring things to such a level where Nature has to act to restore the balance. How else does one explain the rise in the frequency of natural disasters and the increased intensity of the damage they cause each time they occur ? The uncontrolled population increase over the centuries itself has been responsible in robbing the Earth of its natural resources. Add to it the greed of humans…we can’t take just as much as we need…we have to take more and hoard. We don’t think of preservation, of regeneration or of repaying what was taken. We cross the ...
8 comments
Read more

Love in the rains :)

Heart shaped ditch on a construction site next to our office building ! Closer view of the 'heart' ! You can find love in the most unusual places ! :)
7 comments
Read more